Friday, February 18, 2011

Fix It or Forget It

I'm in a blurry generational area, not quite Boomer, not X-centric, but I'm still of the age where I express most of my deepest feelings with pop culture references. To wit, my mood today is summed up very nicely with this movie poster:

While I don't subscribe to the tyrannical ultra-positive movement that suggests, with a patronizing smile, that we turn every single frown upside down, I do have a caveat to these times when I stare out the window like women in ads for depression meds. It's one simple rule:

Fix it or forget it.

I can't take credit for this little gem of a whine cork; that goes to Amy Gross, a true maven and role model. She's very serene and into meditation while still maintaining glamour and a chic wardrobe. She's got it going on.

Fortunately, though, my angst has nothing to do with being in my 40s; it's the same meaningful, sigh-inducing existential blah blah I felt in my 20s. No wonder I feel so young! [<---sarcasm] But to tie in that whole "Fix it or forget it" motto, here's a 40-something issue that can be fixed: naked-looking eyes. 

One morning I told my dear friend Shez, "I want to know who the f*c% stole my eyelashes." While never exactly a stand-in for Bambi, I at least had something to bat at the boys (and, later, my husband). One day, though, I realized that I was starting to look like (prepare for another pop culture reference!) David Bowie in The Man Who Fell to Earth:

Okay, not quite that bad, but you get my meaning.

Anorexic eyelashes are one of the less-great parts of getting older becoming a more mature, self-possessed fabulous woman. They're something you can, and should, fix rather than forget. You could try that paint-on chemical that Brooke Shields touts; a woman I know is having some positive results with it. I'm going for the easier, less chemicals-on-my-eyes approach: good ol' mascara.

In this situation, your mascara choice takes on the same level of importance that your decision for college did back when you had a full, lush set of sweepers. My independent, non-corporate funded (I wish) research has led me to two options in predictably varied price points.

If you still have a job in this recession and are willing to $pend, go for Lancome Définicils High Definition Mascara. Better for length than thickness, but will take your lashes from non-existent to knocking people over. Average cost: about $25.


If you're unemployed self-employed and tend toward thrift, go for Maybelline Sky High Curves. This mascara has it all: length and almost pornographic thickening power. Average cost: three ($3!) measly bucks.

I do love a problem I can fix and forget. And now, I can get back to staring out the window and sighing existentially.

Later, locas.